To those who know me personally, or at least have been following this blog, it is no secret that I am leaving Saudi Arabia for good. I will be relocating to Dubai very soon. Something I am very excited about.
A couple of weeks ago, the HR lady I had been in touch with over there, informed me that the company I am about to join would be holding a workshop in Argentina on November 8th. She asked me if I could make it then. I said I would try. In my mind, however, I doubted that I would end up going. The date of the workshop was way too soon – only a few days after my last working day in Saudi. I would not have enough time to complete my pre-exit to-do list by that date.
For the next period, every time Ms. HR would open up the subject of the Argentina workshop, I found myself evading giving her a direct response. I felt like I was resisting the idea of attending the workshop, by telling myself that I simply did not have the time to get all the traveling prearrangements done. I mean, shouldn’t I at least spend a few last days of quality time with my fam?
As much as this excuse made sense, a part of me clearly wasn’t buying into it. The little voice inside of me (well, one of the little voices – the one that’s responsible for detecting my own bullshit) was saying “Mo, you know this isn’t true right? This isn’t the real reason you don’t want to go there”. Little voice was right as usual. He always is, and sometimes, I hate him for that.
When a part of me calls out my own bluffs, I can do one of two things; both of which are not easy. I can either bury my head in the sand, petending that part doesn’t exist and in return, suffer the restlessness causd by my own internal nagging. Or I can sit quietly with myself, take a deep breath, and face my own truth. I usually go for the second option (well, at least eventually – sometimes after some damage is already done).
The truth this time was simple. And silly. I am the type of person who gets nervous on two-hour flights. Casual turbulance is enough to make me regret every mistake I’ve made in my life. I have never been to the US only because a 14 hour flight (transit or not) is nightmarish to me.
It is a groundless fear that makes absolutely no sense. A storm in a teacup, but that’s human impulses for ya.
That being said, this was a fear I had been planning on eliminating one day, by forcing myself to hop on any damn plane that’s going somewhere far enough to get my stomach turning. I guess the opportunity just presented itself to me. I decided yesterday to take the trip to Argentina. It is a 22 hour flight in total, (7 Hours to London and another 15 to Buenos Aires), longer than the longest trip I had dreamt of taking. I figure that if I get over this, I will finally get over this block in my life that has been preventing me from enjoying the freedom of traveling.
Plus, hey, I think I’m going to have a great time over there 
LOL @ the part about the little voices!
but in seriousness we all have that part.. is good u know how to talk with it without needing external help..
Bravo! Well done. Look forward to hearing all about the journey and Argentina. Maybe if you write your impressions during the flight it will help pass time. Take a couple of Valiums or whatever and go, go go!
Good look, Nous! Just sleep through the flights! Use sleeping pills if necessary. Have fun!
Good for you. In my mind I prepared some tough love for ya if by the end of the post you decided not to go. Bottle up with some anti-anxiety drugs to when needed and enjoy the flight and trip.
Do it
Good luck on your new job
I always love it when people talk about their little voices.
When I discover my own bluffs (which happens all the time, because my mental poker face still needs a lot of practice), I always end up doing the first thing, always knowing in the back of my head what the thing that’s bothering me is, but never taking that extra step and actually facing it.
Anyway, back to the main point. I think that what you’re doing is very courageous. I mean 22 hours are a very long time, but if the end result is you getting rid of a limitation, let alone a huge one, it will be more than worth it. (Yes, I’m being nice and supportive for once)
Do let us know how it goes without making us beg for it. -.-
And yes, I do realize that this comment has been mostly irrelevant and almost longer than the original post.
I have lots of mean things to say but I will let you enjoy this one this time..
Wow, hope whatever decision you make in the end will pay off!